we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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