Don't make out with my wife yet
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
