Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
