Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
