I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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