we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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