Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
