There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
