Me too!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
