apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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