she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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