How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
