Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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