i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize