Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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