He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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