If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
