just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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