So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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