Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin

(262): View more from Wisconsin

your sister was..

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad

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(517): View more from Michigan

the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(775): View more from Nevada

Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?

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(770): View more from Georgia

Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?

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(602): View more from Arizona

The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."

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(231): View more from Michigan

I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up

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(619): View more from California

I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing

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