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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.

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• (713): View more from Texas

  Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?

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• (862): View more from New Jersey

  dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had

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• (817): View more from Texas

  He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (210): View more from Texas

  just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.

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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.

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