better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed