We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
