She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
