So drunk its hurt
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
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He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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