i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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