I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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