i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
