apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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