Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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