Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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