The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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