my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
