There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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