My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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