Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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