i think my mom watched the whole time
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
