my phone needs a breathalizer
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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