im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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