He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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