before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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