What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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