You really coming over, don't trick.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
