dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
