no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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