swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
They took my balls.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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