are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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