Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
