I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?