I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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