I will die if light touches me.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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