is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
