I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
