I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
