Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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