I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I won't apologize to a one balled man
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
