Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
