I wish my penis had an off switch
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
