We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
