i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
