i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
