I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
