i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
